However, Colin has really come into his own, and this time around, he pretty much said "Mom, I got this!". And got this he did! He passed with flying colors! There was not even a hint of him aspirating like he did during the first swallow study. They even lay him on his side, used different flow nipples, and each time, he swallowed like a champ.
With that HUGE monkey off our back, we were now ready to start feeds by mouth. However, as much as I (and Colin) would like to go full blast into eating by mouth again, because he is starting over again, we have to go slow so he doesn't tucker out and start to not like it over time.
For this reason, for the first few days, we had to go slow and start with 1 feed by mouth a day. However, the next few days after the swallow study were crazy busy, and we had to wait about a week before we could start.
First, it was our 5 year wedding anniversary! Every year we have usually done something fun and romantic, and with the past year we had, I wanted this one to be no different.
I read about this hotel in Laguna Beach and thought it would be nice, so we stayed here:
Pacific Edge Hotel
 |
| The room literally looked over the beach! |
After this relaxing trip, we met with Colin's Occupational Therapist who then helped us to devise a plan to get Colin eating by mouth again. Yet our plan had to wait a few days, as we had to travel to Houston to see Rich's daughter Lauren (funny blog post about our travel experience to follow!).
Once we did start 1 feed a day and Colin was doing FANTASTIC with it, earlier this week, our Gastroenterologist decided we could then increase his feeds to 3 by mouth a day.
This is when I came to a crossroads. Up till this time, my plan had always been that I had wanted to breastfeed Colin if it was ever fully possible. Now was my chance! However, my bosom was not cooperating.
A few weeks prior, I had reached a "pumping" burnout. Because Colin's growth had increased the amount of milk he had to take in a day, over time I was not producing enough breast milk by just pumping. For this reason, I figured that until Colin was ready to breastfeed, I would just reduce the number of pumps a day, then eventually transition from pumping exclusively to just breastfeeding.
Yet in doing this, I had reduced my "supply" considerably, and now that we were suddenly ready to put Colin to breast again, I had to make a decision. If I wanted to go forward with my exclusive breastfeeding plan, it would have to mean I would have to start including multiple pumping sessions a day (in addition to Colin breastfeeding 3x a day) in order to increase my milk supply to a level that could sustain him.
Maybe it was after reading this article: "Are you Mom enough?", or maybe it was just reality, but similar to my kayak type of idea, I realized, the idea sounded much easier than the reality.
Because as much as the "idea" sounded great, the reality was much harder. I lasted 2 days! Is that pathetic? I don't know, in the end, I just said to myself, "Is being stressed out about this what I really want? Or did I just want the chance?". I realized just being given the opportunity to nurse at all was really all I could ask for.
Being able to look into Colin's eye while he breastfeed was pretty amazing. Watching him fall into a blissful sleep was cute. Yet making sure he was growing and getting healthy each day, formula was just as easily doing the trick for me. With that, my mommy instinct grew a little stronger!
So now I have been bottle feeding my little guy 3x a day, and if I'm honest, sometimes 1 more time than usual, as I realized I have created a monster! To say Colin LOVES eating by mouth is pretty much an understatement. Just look at what he does when I have to take away his bottle to burp him:
 |
| "Mom, I'm not done yet! What ARE you doing?" |
Guess he doesn't miss my boob that much...........
No comments:
Post a Comment