This is what a "Kangaroo" looks like....

It started out like any other day. We were making our usual morning visit to see Colin. We brought our camera in case he was on his tummy. We kept forgetting to take pictures of the scar on his back from his heart surgery, and we like how comfy he looks on his tummy.


As our nurse was giving us a general update on Colin (what his stats were, if he had a good night, etc.) she casually mentioned, "I was talking to the doctor and we thought now would be a good time to start Kangaroo care if you like".


My eyes opened wide, and Rich and I looked at each other in disbelief. Of course we like! How soon could we start? "Now, if you have the time". At that moment, the floodworks started. This was it. I was finally, finally going to hold my baby for the first time.


I can't explain the happiness I felt at that moment. It was as if I was being rewarded for all my pain and suffering to that point. I could really feel as if I was Colin's mommy. But then, a little bit of fear creeped in.


How would this work? He has what seems like a million tubes. None of those could be removed, as they indicate how well he is doing. And most importantly, he still needs his breathing tube. The tube always has to be positioned just so. What if me holding him wouldn't work well with positioning the tube.


But all that melted away as they laid him on my chest. After a few minutes of positioning, and then covering him with some nice, warm blankets from the heater, it was time for Mommy & Colin time.


Now to Children's Hospital's disadvantage, they did not have any comfy recliners or gliders for me. The nurse did find me as comfy a chair as she could, and put a pillow behind me for comfort. However, after a few minutes, I realized that it would not be as comfy as I would like it.


But then I remembered all the times I complained during my pregnancy. And all the mommy guilt has tripled since Colin's early arrival when I think about all the times I said "Man, I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore". Never in a million years did I mean that I wanted Colin out at that moment. But now that he did arrive early, sometimes I can't help but wonder if I put that intention out there unwillingly.


So no matter how uncomfortable I am, I decided that I would sit in that chair for as long as it would take. In general, Kangaroo care is suggested to take place for a minimum of 1 hour (the length of one full sleep cycle). Kangaroo care has the following benefits (taken from Wikipedia):


Kangaroo care arguably offers the most benefits for preterm and low birth weight infants, who experience more normalized temperature, heart rate, and respiratory rate, increased weight gain, fewer nosocomial infections and reduced incidence of respiratory tract disease. Additionally, studies suggest that preterm infants who experience kangaroo care have improved cognitive development, decreased stress levels, reduced pain responses, normalized growth, and positive effects on motor development. Kangaroo care also helps to improve sleep patterns of infants, and may be good intervention for colic. Earlier discharge from hospital is also a possible outcome. Finally, kangaroo care helps to promote frequent breastfeeding, and can enhance mother-infant bonding.


With all these benefits, I would sit in glass for an hour if I had to! But overall, it wasn't that uncomfortable. I hummed some songs to him, I tried to rock him as best I could, without moving the ventilator. He was positioned a little too close to my face, so I couldn't really look at him. But at the very least, I got to talk quietly to him. But after awhile, I realized, "Mommy, you need to be quiet. Little boy here needs to rest and get his sleep cycle started." So mostly, I stayed quiet. 


And before I knew it, my bladder interrupted. I had to end our session. I made it for 1 1/2 hours.  And it was great! So they slowly removed him from my chest, and I watched as they gently put him back in his incubator. 


From now on, I can hold him whenever I visit. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that I can hold my son. Now, I'm pushing Rich to hurry up and get ready for our twice a day visits. Because now I know that every time I see Colin, we are going to be enjoying some serious snuggle time.........or at least until my bladder interrupts........